people

i was watching this chinese *Gong Li* movie till 3am

i dont know the tittle, 3am slot is not prime time
they dont flash the show tittle after commercial breaks.

btw, it is not surprising that macdonalds took all the first
commercial slot,, singing "im gonna have big breakfast..blah"
at 2am till wee hours. im lovin it. ha.

ok-- that movie.

that movie made me cry.

a little.

it was set in 1844 era, china, beijing

GongLi in that movie started out young,

as young servant serving a lady prostititute.

i think her chracter is named "shi li"

one day shi li's lady courtsean ran away and
the brothel boss promoted her to become a pro.

she hated it but took it as there isnt much hope on
surviving out there on the streets anyway.

on her first nite as a pro, she dreaded it.
she was soul-less and was plainly hateful with life.

then came all the ah-pek customers (uncles).
they had an important function that nite, with a young
army personnel (the VIP). a learned and refined man

shi li was asked to sing.
she shocked everyone with her "male opera" opening.
everyone's jaws dropped and tension was in the air.

the VIP smiled.
he said "wow, such strong vocals you have"

he fell in love with shi li and took her as his wife.

they rented a small apartment
had it as their love nest
and had such wonderful moments, hand-in-hand
strolling in the park.

ocassionally they had some ppe ridicule them since
shi li was from the brothel

but they held on
his love was good enough

they wanted to have children but as the years went
by,, shi li couldnt concieve.

then she remembered that she had taken the "fruitless" tea
to make her infertile, the nite she supossedly was to become a
pro.

shattered but not broken,
she invited her husband's first wive to their house.
she locked her husband out of their bedroom and
have him concieve with the first wive.

he wanted children and shi li wants him to have them too.

***

along the same time,
shi li took up painting.

she could sketch and paint very well.

her husband thought that it was a harmless pastime
and let her persue it.

there were very few artist in china then.

once,
there was an outrage and uproar when the street people
came charging into their art school and destroyed their
work pieces.

the street people was hateful becos the students were
drawing nude models.

they insulted the students as sluts and whores and
thrashed all of them. bashed up their teacher too.

the art school had to disband

shi li didnt give up
she finds that the body is a very beautiful piece of art
body, to her is soulful and simply godily

once when she was at the public bath-house (like our modern spa)
she secretely sketch the women there
one of them spotted her and they all lashed out on her

they said "go fcuk yourself and draw ur own naked tits"

hey why not? -- shi li thought

since she couldnt get models, she posed and drew herself
from the mirror.

***

years gone by

shi li has become a professor at the art university in china

she is much respected by her students but not her male
colleagues.

they still call her *bitch* sometimes.

shi li just turns a deaf ear. who cares? it doesnt hurt her.

shi li's husband was just as loving and supportive of her.

that nite before she has her own art exhibition,

shi li's husband saw the nude portraits.

"is that you!!??" he asked.

yes (shi li)

oh god, cant you just draw anything or anyone else?!
are you such a whore inside?!!

oh god that hurts. (shi li)

in the end, shi li moved to france where her work
is not an issue.

***

they lived seperately for many many years

till their hair's gone white,

their bodies bent,

they lived apart.

***

one big fire killed shi li's husband.

shi li lived on a few more years in france

having more exhibitions before eventually dying with age

***

it was a real story. a drama-biography. that's why i cried.

people with their narrow minds should just go get fcuked.

but then, it was 1844.

how are we doing

now that it is 2004.